Gila Monsters do not Shoo, and Other Learning Experiences

[dancinghorse]

Just so you know: If there's a gila monster crossing the road, and traffic has stopped to let it do this (and they are Very Very Slow Monsters, also Endangered so everybody protects them), and you think you can get out of the car and shoo it off the road...it won't.  It will decide you are dinner.  And come after you.  Then dart under your car.

The guy behind me helped me get it out from under the car with a stick  and some fast moves, then gently shovel-forked it into the bushes and got it going in the right direction.  And that was an Adventure in the Desert.

We are also having Adventures in Horsebreeding.  Those who are squicked by graphic sex do not need to look behind the cut.  Really.  Seriously.  You don't.    

This was not the breeding season I expected.  I thought we'd ship to Ember and that would be it.  And I'd help S. get Pandora bred to the stallion in WA.  Then we traded mares, and Carrma is getting SRS Dropout Boy, and Pandora is for Pooka.  And then the queries started coming in.  One lady had one mare in mind, got his video and booked two--then asked about a purebred.  She may lease a mare and go for it.  There is also a lady who hasn't decided whether to use her own Ayrab mare (20 years old, last foal at 11, no vet clinic nearby and the vet is expensive and not very good) or S's Ayrab mare (20 years old, last foal last year, has had WB foals).  S decided to go ahead and breed her mare, so brought her down for a spa trip two weeks ago and ended up leaving her here since she was just coming out of heat.  We gave her a shot on the following Tuesday to bring her back into heat on a short cycle--normally this takes 4-5 days.  On Thursday evening, her tail went up.  By Friday she was Ready For The Boy. 

This was his first girl in two years,  so he was both excited and clumsy.  S and I got them sort of together but it wasn't very successful (think overeager teenaged boy)(only he weighs a good half-ton).

Meanwhile Pandora was due to come back in heat.  And didn't.  Or didn't seem to.  Curt the Wonder Shoer had offered to help with Pandora--he's a longtime breeder and loves the Lipps--so I called him to ask if he'd help with Clumsy Boy and the Ayrab (who is a very experienced mare and looooooooves her job).  He showed up Sunday morning with his partner and her friend, all excited to meet the Lipizzans.  Pooka now has two new fans, and the rest of the crew won friends and influenced people as well. 

And Gold was even more excited, so we got them together and that was good.  And Pandora didn't show any signs of heat, but did yell a lot at me.  I started to think she was stuck, and decided  to call the vet and book a visit to see what was going on.  When I finally got through, we booked him for Friday noon.

Meanwhile, we were in the hormone soup.  Nothing from Pandora by Tuesday--Gold got the boy again, with much enthusiasm.  After Curt left, I let Pandora out to find her own way to her dinner, and as she went past Pooka's stall, she squatted halfway to the ground and peed in his face.  Hot mama! said the Pookometer.

Yep, she was in.  Meaning we now had two mares to cover, and Thursday was Pooka's spa excursion to be tested for AI shippability.  I called Curt.  He said he'd be there Wednesday.

Which he wasn't.  He got derailed by a very difficult horse, and ran out of daylight.  I couldn't hope to manage solo--with that height differential (she's 16.1, he's 14.2), we would have to take them out onto the unfenced acreage and stand her in a ditch.  We had already found one that was just right: about a foot of drop, nice sandy footing, and I cleared the brush and cactus around it.

So, no go on Wednesday.  Thursday da Pook was booked.  AI shipping requires a very good sample, which meant we couldn't breed Pandora in the morning and then take him to the spa in the afternoon and be sure of a viable collection.  So, no go on Thursday either.  I shrugged and figured we'd catch her next round (mares, like human women, cycle every 21 days on the average--though most are seasonal, come in in the spring and go out in the fall and are in anestrus or a dormant stage in the winter).

Thursday went exceptionally well.  We took Carrma to the spa, where she's staying until she's bred, and loaded her in front of the stock trailer with Gold, who was in screaming heat--figuring we'd use her as a tease mare for Pook, then inseminate her from the sample.  Then we loaded Pook in the back (nice solid divider, and we had him tied).  He hopped  right on.  Mares + trailer = SPA!!!

And off we went.  Carrma went to her stall in the mare motel--next to a huge and harlequin-splotched Paint mare and across from a cute little Bashkir Curly stallion--he's a rasta boy, he has dreadlocks.  Gold went in the teaser pen and immediately started screaming for her man.  I had to keep Pook down by the trailer, where he let the world know He Was There.  My eardrums took a beating.  So did my arm muscles.  A stallion in full cry is a bit like Godzilla and somewhat like a runaway train.

In due time they were ready to collect, which meant teasing him to the mare until he was ready, then moving him over onto the phantom.  Vet ran in with the artificial vagina (they know him now: he's faster than a speeding bullet and can jump above their heads).  We had ignition.  Vet looked at the container and issued a considered professional opinion: "Holy moley!"

My little boy who used to be barely shippable and needed special processing because he produced good quality but not much of it...isn't so little any more.  He nearly filled the bottle.  Because he'd been breeding all week (and helping himself in between mares), he had a lot of gel but there were plenty of fast, active, perfectly formed swimmers.  Nice crowd in the microscope slide.  Big smiles all around.  Because, when it comes down to it, this is about him not shooting blanks--and that's why you do the checkup before you start shipping, to make sure the mare owners don't spend thousands in clinic, stud, collection, and shipping fees on absolutely nothing.

Once he did his duty, I popped him in the round pen and watched them head off to the lab to divide, examine, cool, and extend the results.  Some went in the blue shipping container to be tested for longevity.  The rest went into Gold, who would have Much preferred the real thing.  We then ultrasounded and found a 50mm follicle getting soft--ovulation within 24 hours, the vet opined.  And that was good.

Then off we went home, to a very antsy Pandora who had sorely missed her boy.  And Gold wanted to know why she couldn't have him and the turkey baster.

Friday, Gold continued to be hot and bothered, and Pandora was still in strong heat.  So, in the afternoon, Curt came over and we took a deep breath and addressed the logistics.  The mares were screaming.  Pooka came out of the paddock with the trumpet-call that says the mare is READY and she is ready NOW.  It's a distinctive, not to mention deafening sound, and it can stop every horse in its tracks for half a mile around.  It's the sound you'd expect a dragon to make in the same situation.

Then he went straight for Gold in her stall--straight up the wall--and tried to courbette over it.  Took Curt off guard.  He got him down, but it was exciting.  And I was trying to clean up Pandora (who, don't let's forget, is Beeg and Strong) and get her tail wrapped, about 40 feet away.

We got sorted out.  Curt took Pook off to get him used to the new breeding area.  I followed with Pandora.  Got her into the wash, set her up.  She figured out what I was doing right away--ahhh, the bonded Lipizzan, everything is so much easier when they [a] understand English and [b] want to cooperate.  Curt had his hands full with Pooka, but he's handled stallions all his life and he has a blacksmith's arms.  He managed (though he said even as stallions go, my little Starfury is strong).  Pandora dug in her heels and sat down and backed into the boy, and yes, mares do enjoy it, too.  She sure did.  She hated to be separated from him but I had to walk her around to make sure she didn't expel the whole thing--then keep her in her stall for a while and watch her, ditto.  By which point she went and leaned against the wall and just sort of puddled out.  "Goooood," she said.

So this morning I went out and the whole ambience was different.  The mares were still squatting and peeing, but Pook looked at them, chugged a bit, and said, "Nah."   They both ovulated overnight.  Residual hormones are making them still want him, but the Pookometer is infallible.   Last night he couldn't control himself.  Today he thinks dinner is a good option.

I hope that's it for the live! naked! girls!  After this he has a bunch of boy-in-a-box to do, but that's a lot less adventurous: get call, load up boy, haul to spa, collect, come home.

So now we wait two weeks and then the vet comes and ultrasounds and if there's a baby in there, we'll see it: an adorable little round blob with a dot on the top.  (Even at this stage, Lipps are round.)  And life can get back on track for things like, you know, work.  And riding.

There has been riding, though not much this week.  Teacher-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed is out of town: she flies to Maui twice a year to train a Lipizzan.  We try not to hate her too much.  Last week's lesson day was excellent.  Keed got his usual Teacher Torture.  S got a nice lesson on Carrma.  I sat on Camilla as usual and she walked forward--relaxed, balanced, no freakies.  For her, that's huge.  Then I saddled up Pandora.

I am so doomed. 

She'd rather trot than walk at this stage.   It's easier to balance at the higher speed.  Her trot is like flying.  Her aids are as light as Pooka's, and her training in its day was very, very correct.  She is a gorgeous ride--all the size and scope of the big competition horses, but the lightness and responsiveness of the Lipizzan. 

She wants me to keep riding her.  She wants me to show her.  She's a schoolmaster--'way rusty but the training is there.  It's heavenly.

Capria, not to be outdone, gave me a regular lesson of great quality and precision.  Outside aids, transitions, balance, balance, balance.  And straightness.  Straightness is all.

So the riding proceedeth apace.  Now Pandora is bred, at least until the next cycle (but we hope she caught--breeding right before ovulation is the best timing,  in fact often results in a colt because the Y's swim faster than the X's),  I can get her in regular work.  And Pook ditto.  Capria has been keeping up mostly, but poor keed has been neglected all week.  He needs some quality time.

All this constitutes a reply to my invocation of the Mother Ship, like so: "What the hell am  I supposed to be doing?  Should I give up?  Find a real job?  Sell the horses and get an apartment?"  I haven't promoted Pook but he has awesome lynnesite  photos on his website and he gets talked about--Lipp people know who he is.  He's getting more business this spring than I ever expected.

And then, Friday morning, I got the rest of my answer.  The story to that is, I've been wanting a Neapolitano Slatana II daughter for quite a few years.  He's Marita's 3/4 brother for them as knew her, comes from unusual bloodlines, has gorgeous movement and a very strong back and a sweet temperament.  He made his way to Charlie Horse, in large part thanks to my noodging, and he makes wonderful fillies.  I leased Gabriella meanwhile for three foals--got Ephiny and Gaudia, then she went back home and I leased another mare for another FB daughter (half-sister to Ephiny and, as it turned out, Pandora)--but she had a colt last spring, and they kept him as a future stallion.  So I asked if they could breed Gabriella to Willie, since she had let me know she wanted to make me another filly.

She was born just before midnight on Thursday the 28th.  Her name is Galatea (Tia for short).  I can't go up and see her Right Now though I would love to;  I have to wait for breeding season to quiet down a bit.  In about a month, I'll make a trip to Seattle to see the new Bride of Pooka.  She'll stay with her mom until she's weaned, then in the fall she'll come down here.

I have been promised photos ASAP.

That is a heck of an answer. She was born on Pooka's big day at the spa, with the mares in a high hormonal fury here. 

So I guess I'm supposed to be breeding Lipizzans.

I have btw bought tickets for the SRS tour in Columbus--"Lipizzan Convergence" it's called, a meeting of all the Lipp associations in the US.  There will be meetings, natch.  Dinner with the riders.  Tour of the stables.  Lecture by the head of the School.  Two performances.  And lots more.  I also got a ticket for Houston, because the SW regional association will be foregathering there.  This is in November and December, and I am very excited.

Through all of this, writing has been happening.  I'm doing a new one for Tor--series called The War of the Rose.  Medievalist French fantasy.  Deadline very soon.  Aaack.

And last but not least, I've sold three more books to LUNA--continuation of the Mountain's Call series.

And that's why the lj has been not happening.  The "live" part is a bit out of hand.  However--it's all research.  And that's what counts.

Comments

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

*laughs helplessly* Ok, I don't see how anybody could possibly resist clicking through on that cut tag. I think you're right: I think you're supposed to be breeding Lipizzans. :)

YAY! for new Lunas! YAY! for War of the Rose! And yay for gila monsters, even if they tried to eat you for dinner, because that's just a cool little story. :)

-Catie

[kateelliott.livejournal.com]

This seems to be the spring for being crazy with life running full out all burners on high.

I enjoyed all the, um, gory details.

[wojsvenwoj.livejournal.com]

when does the "LIVE! NAKED! MARES!" sign go up at the end of the driveway? :)

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

As soon as the hot-pink-neon guy gets an opening in his schedule.

[casacorona.livejournal.com]

Hey, you didn't tell me about the gila monster! That's an adventure. They are poisonous, you know...but they move slow and their teeth are small and not very sharp.

I wonder what it was doing, trying to cross a road during the day?

[plutosonium.livejournal.com]

Heh. No, I bet Gila Monsters don't shoo. I think anything with Monster in the name is likely to require more than a "shoo".

And, speaking of Lipizzans, I'm going to go out and play Barbie Horse with mine. Neep!

[larryhammer]

Hey hey, on Luna saying yes.

---L.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Thenkyewkindly. These are books I really want to write, so it's good to get a deal I can live with.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Wow, this is fascinating, the combo of tech and tradition, the interchanges between animal and human.

Horse sex is not delicate, it appeareth.

Great news on the book front!

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Thank you. 8)

As Ashley notes in another comment, horse sex close up can be terrifying. They're very large animals, very agile and fast, and there's a lot of bellowing and stamping and there are hooves flailing the air well above your head. And they are strong. I'm blessed this year with mares who know their job and love it, which makes the mare-handling part easy--I just have to set her up, get out of the way of the hooves, and lend a hand with the stallion if necessary. I have handled him and he's been good, but I was glad Curt did it when we bred Pandora. Curt needed all his strength and experience for that. Pook is little but he's massive, and Lipps are probably the strongest breed of horse, since they're built to carry full-grown men in the Airs. They're solid muscle over heavy bone, and they're extremely fast.

It should be noted that now the mares are bred and have gone out of heat, Pook is a complete pussycat. He's only wild when he has to be.

[hippoiathanatoi.livejournal.com]

Sounds like Pooka is getting to have lots of fun, and to earn some of his keep at the same time. Has he been informed of his increasing popularity and the prospect of many more willing ladies (not to mention a new Bride) in the future? Or ... well, willing phantoms, anyway. ;)

Many congratulations on the Luna sale and good luck with the deadline. Medievalist French fantasy, and more Mountain's Call books, sound equally yummy. :)

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks.

Pook thinks he's the center of the universe anyway, so it all seems perfectly normal to him.

[ambar.livejournal.com]

A stallion in full cry is a bit like Godzilla and somewhat like a runaway train.

My (Colorado State-trained) repro vet once volunteered to come out to my place and handle Palisades (http://ambararabians.com/stallions/) (850lbs of Arab stallion) for a live breeding. Only once, though.

Now I throw everyone in the trailer, ignoring the screams, and haul down to the clinic. It's worth every penny to have someone else have their arms ripped off. At least until the dear ones succeed in demolishing the trailer....

[casacorona.livejournal.com]

Holy cow, I love your stallion Palisades!

[ambar.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm pretty fond of him too. :-)

Some shots, taken yesterday, of his first son (now a yearling) are here: http://ambararabians.com/stallions/summer.shtml

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Hey, your guy looks a lot like the mare we've been breeding to Pook! She's Russian-Crabbet, very well bred, and she's 20 but she looks half that age. Lovely mare. Very elegant, and very sweet.

Pook will not continue to be a bulldozer when he's breeding. Next time we have a mare in heat, there will be a Come-to-Jesus meeting. He is good in the trailer, knows what it means when he's in there with a mare in heat, and travels quietly. He gets strong in front of the phantom, but we've Spoken to him about that, too.

He's a good boy. I think I'll keep him for another week. 8)

[ambar.livejournal.com]

Well, I've swapped some mail with S. (we're both on a Arab preservation mailing list) but I don't recall her mare's pedigree. That said, there's quite a lot of Davenport tangled in among the roots of most American-bred CMK (Crabbet, Maynesboro, Kellog) Arabians (and a certain amount of Crabbet behind the Russians, and so on).

The best advice I got on breeding stallions (this *after* making various mistakes with Palisades early on) was not to give him a long anticipation of delights. In other words, the tradition of bringing the mare to the stallion, instead of the other way around, has its practical aspects which should not be neglected. ;-)

(He still thinks sex happens at the bottom of the hill. *sigh*)

I have quite a fund of Palisades-at-the-vet-clinic stories, most of which I probably haven't posted to LJ. Maybe I'll dig them out of the archives for your amusement. :)

[christymarx.livejournal.com]

Fascinating neep.

And good news on the books! Woo hoo!

[maryosmanski.livejournal.com]

Great news on the book front!

Of course, the very term Medievalist French fantasy has got me salivating.

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

Good grief. When the Mother Ship answers, she answers. Yowza! So many terrific things!

a distinctive, not to mention deafening sound, and it can stop every horse in its tracks for half a mile around. It's the sound you'd expect a dragon to make in the same situation.

Reminds me of one of the comments on the features in the Return of the King extended edition. One of the sound effects they used was of a breeding stallion. They showed the stallion meeting the mare. The sound guy remarked that he'd never been so terrified in his life. (I thought the boy was being very civilized, but they cut before things got X-rated, too.)

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

I've got to get around to watching the features. That's a hoot about the sound guy.

[sfmarty.livejournal.com]

Wheeeeeeee.

What a week! I was afraid that Galatea was born at DHF admid all of this kerfluffel. Nice to know you could concentrate on Pook while others watched of Miss G.

Of -course- you should breed Lipps.

You have an eye.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Thank you. No, Gabriella is at Cele's. Next year there will be babies at DHF. I miss my baby fix. Gaudia is 2 (birthday yesterday) and bigger than her father--she's almost the same size as Capria at the moment--and isn't really a baby any more.

[smoemeth.livejournal.com]

*pictures you vs. gila monster*

*wishes there existed video*

[writerkatie.livejournal.com]

(catching up after too long away) Congratulations on the book! :)

And delightful horse-neep. Having seen da Pook in mellow mode, I can just imagine the, errr, excited version, and yowza! I would not want to try holding him.

Katie

[janni.livejournal.com]

Coolness, on Luna and horse-breeding possibilities both!

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

Good to hear from you, and that things are going so vary well. I've found out that Saturn is about to leave my sign, and that should be good, right? But Mercury will no longer be retrograde, and that's good news for everyone. Looking forward to baby pics, and new books!

Rah, life! 8^)

[galeni.livejournal.com]

Wow. I am in awe.

And great news on the books!

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

Why is it that when you head off to Hawaii to work, no one has any sympathies for you?! We're here to work people, this is not a vacation! Work, work, work, that's all we do here in sunny, tropical, Hawaii. *snicker*
Definite congrats to both nom de plume (plumies?plumeses? plumage?fromage mmm cheese--my French ancestors are rolling over in their graves right now... it's noms de stylo any durn way :)). Now if you and the other-author-I-know-who-has-published-a-lot would just slow down long enough I could catch up in reading.
-=Jeff=-