Apres-Clinique

[dancinghorse]

The problem with really great clinics, as in, transformative ones, is the clinician leaves and there you are, back in reality. (raithen, this is as much for you as for me.) I'm blessed that I have Teacher to keep things going, but when she's been transformed, too, the results can be a bit, well, illuminating, let's say.

Today was the first lesson day since the clinic. Summer has arrived in the desert: it's 100F now, just shy of 2 p.m. It wasn't so bad this morning, but the heat was rising fast. Pandora was quite happy to come out for a lesson. I wanted to ride her for a couple of reasons. First, I didn't ride her in the clinic, so I wanted to transfer what I'd learned to her. And, I wanted to see what she learned from being ridden by trainers for three days. Not to mention, when I rode her on Tuesday, I'd basically forgotten how to ride her. I couldn't find her back at all.

This morning I had her back--my seatbones plugged right in. And that was good. We started off covering the arena with hoofprints, so that I could continue to get the feel of her spine, while working on keeping my torso upright, left side not collapsing, elbows bent, forearms light. She likes to really push her right shoulder out and does her best to shove my right seatbone with it. Per Teacher's clinic notes, I tried riding with my hands somewhat to the left: right rein on her neck, left rein open. That helped her balance and got her somewhat off the shoulder. Then I had to remember to Not pull with the left rein when she wanted to veer right, but use my seatbones to mold her back toward the middle (like a potter shaping a pot on a wheel). Everything has to come from the seat when it comes to turns (lower leg is Not for turns, it's for impulsion and rhythm only).

We rode spirals to work on this: spiral in, legyield out. Not possible with this horse if I pull with reins or over-ride the seat or get off balance leaning or pushing. In walk we did OK and I was able to trust my aids and not pull so much on the inside (especially left) rein.

Trot was harder. She's used to blowing through my aids, she wants to make me grab that left rein, and she knows I'm very easy to frustrate. When I'm frustrated I screw up even worse.

It wasn't pretty.

Going right wasn't so terribly bad. I started to figure out that I could keep the left rein for support and hold-release both reins in such a way that I could demonstrate for both of us that I trusted my seat to keep her on the circle. It was a pretty cool feeling to be flying along on this big, powerful horse, with just a feel of the corners of her mouth, and everything happening in the seat.

Going left was rather ugly. I overuse the left rein, I collapse the left side, the horse veers wildly off toward the barn (at one point I dinged my toe on the fence, ow). I drop the right rein, you see, and the more she avoids it, the wimpier I am. It was very, very frustrating. I yelled at Teacher. Communications problem. If told to get firm or use a stronger aid, I invariably and automatically lock up solid from the brain cells down. I start to fight and push-pull and lean and in every way get less effective.

I Need To Stop This. Eventually I did sort of get straight on her back and I figured out that instead of clamping the right rein, a clear give-take would give her the signal to get off her shoulder and come around on the circle. I'll need to practice it a lot, and someday maybe I'll internalize it.

It was a rough lesson. We were both wringing wet. I have some good things to remember and feel and try to make happen in other rides. But sometimes, you know, those old bad habits are bloody maddening. I want so much to ride Pandora the way I saw the others ride her--and damn it I will, but I have a long way to go first. She isn't going to make it easy for me. Teacher's aids are pretty solid, and TL's aids are impermeable; I have to get to that point to be as good as I want to be.

And that's a tall order for the original Triumph of the Body-Stupid. Of course I would have to land myself with a large, green, difficult, opinionated, determinedly crooked horse who in spite of all that is hugely talented and very happy when she gets to show it. She just won't do anything unless I'm perfect first.

Which means I must Stop Clamping Up whenever the horse doesn't go the way I think I'm asking her to go. And stop trying to force it by leaning or pulling. And...

Aaarrrghh. Reality bites. In the butt.

In other news, I bought my ticket to Dallas for the July clinic. I've been offered Lipizzans to ride, which saves me paying a fortune (not to mention wear and tear on the horses) to haul my own horse or horses there. I got one of the last affordable nonstop tickets before the price jumped significantly, which was nice. My airport pickup has been arranged, my rides are going to happen, I just have to get the overnight accommodations sorted out (those are in train) and deal with the nerves of riding strange horses (albeit Lipizzans) in front of a Living Master. I wish in the worst way that Pook could go, but not at current gas prices. And he's not ready anyway--he's barely started back to work.

Meanwhile, copyedits for The Serpent and the Rose went in yesterday--not impressed with this ce; too many "corrections" resulting in wrong punctuation or grammar, and too many "Duh"-level queries. I've had the best ce's in the business; this one is not in their league. Or anywhere even close. Grumpfmle. And tomorrow the "Author Alterations" of Shattered Dance should arrive--Harlequin's bizarre version of proofs, which are basically galleys or first-pass proofs, but that's it, that's all you see until the book comes out. I shall be very cranky for the next few days.

Maybe a miracle will happen. Maybe I'll suddenly learn to ride.

I can dream, can't I?

Comments

[raithen.livejournal.com]

i read your second line and you brought tears to my eyes. Bless you. *goes on to read* *promises more clinic recap before end of today*

[raithen.livejournal.com]

ok. I have read this entire post nodding. Vehemently. YOu know why and how and where (except this body stupid gal dinged her knee, on the inside arena support. OWIE!).

I have to believe these horses are sent to teach us Matters Important! still wish reality didn't bite so damn hard at times.

Still trying to see if I can't afford to swing your way this fall. I'd DEARLY love to be independently weathly, go to the big ttouch anniversary gig in Scottsdale and then come see you. Alas, I fear reality will intrude....

I'd copy edit for you, btw. And I LOATHE copy editing (good at, just LOATHE it).

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

Oh, sympathy all around.

ALL all around, especially about stupid copy editors. When did basic English become a non-requirement for that job description? *shakes head*

[xianghua.livejournal.com]

Looking forward to hopefully meeting you in Dallas, even if I don't get to meet the Pook. Mom says that if you don't get the accomadations worked out, you're welcome to their guest room. :P (They're in Highland Park though, which is 8 minutes north of downtown (for reference, no idea how familiar you are with Dallas), so it's a bit of a drive, if the clinic's where I think it is.)

Can I just say that it's very cool to hear about your lessons- it's sort of reassuring that yes, there IS hope if you're not a good rider by 20, if that makes any sense. I think I'm happy that Q puts up with my clumsiness and is darn near psychic and good at figuring out what I want her to do, even if I'm not asking quite right. My balance is improving, anyway. Little steps.

[galeni.livejournal.com]

Well, you do have some of the best teachers in the world, so just because you don't come up (yet) to their standards doesn't mean you can't ride well. Just not perfectly enough for your Great White Ones. But you will. They know it, too, or they wouldn't work you so hard.

[deannahoak.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the bad copyediting experience. I always hate to hear authors going through that.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Aww thanks. It wasn't the worst I've had; I've had one of the worst ever seen at Tor, so bad it's been preserved as an artifact. This was just...meh. Missed a lot of continuity bits, spent excessive time making wrongheaded "corrections."

The child also needs to learn the difference between the three-dot and the four-dot ellipsis. Urgently. Before being allowed near another ms.

And btw, how long has "she'd" been "correct" for "she had" or "she would" in narrative? I've had this atrocity perpetrated in mss. for two different publishers in the past two years. Is it some sort of Gen-X rule and I never got the memo?

A great copyedit is a thing of beauty and a joy to all who see it, especially the author. This, alack, was not in that league.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Thank you every so kindly. I hope you can swing it somehow. I'm just 2.5 hours from Scottsdale.

[plutosonium.livejournal.com]

I LOVE reading about your riding. It makes me feel like there's hope for me. :)

Also, you have beginner syndrome bad. You get very good at a thing, and then you acquire an even better instructor, and suddenly you feel like you can't do it anymore. Fortunately, that goes away. Everything will reintegrate. Though I think it's useful to retain the beginner mind, if not the random beginner body bits. :)

Pluto just spent most of a year making me wonder what I'd been doing with horses the previous 30 years, but it's starting to come together. Finally.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

The really good ones are Amazing, but they tend to be rare. The rest are mostly, from what I can tell, trying to work their way up the publishing ladder, but with a shaky grasp of the language and not usually any sense of what they don't know.

I personally couldn't be a copy editor. I've got the grammar skills, but I'm not nearly focused enough. It's a very tough job, extremely difficult to do well.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

That is so nice of your parents! Yes, it's a hike to Waxahachie from there. I think we're staying on the farm; I have to check and see if we can get one of the rooms they have available.

Believe me, if you're a good rider at 70 you're doing well. I'm better than I was and not as good as I hope to be. That's all I can say.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Thank you for very wise and kind words. I need to ride better. Must Work On It.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Amen to "beginner syndrome." Teacher is suffering from it, too. Taking it out on me, what's more. Ow.

I saw about you and Pluto. Go You!

[raithen.livejournal.com]

I personally couldn't be a copy editor. I've got the grammar skills, but I'm not nearly focused enough. It's a very tough job, extremely difficult to do well.
eezactly. I CAN be focused enough. but I go quite mad.... hence the loathing part ;).

[raithen.livejournal.com]

work less hard, young one. think less, feel more ;).

[raithen.livejournal.com]

I personally couldn't be a copy editor. I've got the grammar skills, but I'm not nearly focused enough. It's a very tough job, extremely difficult to do well.

*frightened now*

[raithen.livejournal.com]

Beginner syndrome SUCKS. Says she who is also in the midst of it. And who was informed by her otherwise cool mother that really, it was only her who felt this way/got this way. that other people were more rational. I am Quite relieved not to be the Only. One ;).

[plutosonium.livejournal.com]

Heh. Your mom is missing out. Did she never take martial arts?

Beginner syndrome is pretty common a wide variety of bodywork.

[lagilman]

I personally couldn't be a copy editor. I've got the grammar skills, but I'm not nearly focused enough. It's a very tough job, extremely difficult to do well.


*nod* I've done it, but I think I'd rather haul UPS packages at 3am in the winter than do it on a regular basis. It's a very specialized skill that, like so much in publishing, doesn't pay enough to keep the good 'uns going. And the good 'uns who stay can only do so many books in a month...

[lietya.livejournal.com]

There's nothing more annoying that "corrections" that aren't. I take it all you can really do is ride this one out and hope for better next time around? I sympathize.

Harlequin won't let you see the corrected proofs? Not that I've ever had my *own* book published, but I think I'd go mad; every one we work on goes through *at least* three stages of galley proofs, plus "bluelines" (which aren't, anymore, but the name stuck). It's amazing what junk crops up in previously flawless sections when you fix something nearby, but I guess they figure that's their job. (I'm also used to "author alteration [AA]" being the label for an error that was our fault and that we have to pay to fix, as opposed to "printer's error [PE]," which THEY caused....)

(Um, I work for a dictionary company, if you're wondering.)

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

*nods* It's like staring through a microscope for hours and hours. Not something I'd want to do either.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

That is a perfect analogy. I am in awe of those who can do it well. When it's good, there's nothing better; it's a true partnership of author and editor.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Wax on, wax off....

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

What You Said. Teacher has it, too; part of why she's being so hard on me (besides wanting me to look good for Bereiter Bauer) is because she has her own fits of the Stupids. She got taken down a lot in the clinic--then rebuilt brilliantly. Now she has to continue that. And teach the rest of us.

We will all be better for it. But right now I'm feeling very, very Shtoopid.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

You are very lucky. In commercial publishing, we see one set of proofs--usually first pass, and usually they look like a photocopy of the printed book with errors in. When you see uncorrected author proofs, aka bound galleys, that's what you're seeing. With HQ it's galleys (Courier printout with line numbers) and we have to mark AA's and PE's. Tedious and irritating especially when the corrections don't make it into the printed book.

Next week is going to be a PITA. But must be done.

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

Exactly- when the partnership is clicking, it's awesome, and so much good can come of it- but when it's not, it's like a motor that won't start. Ugh.

[lietya.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I imagine it's somewhat different when it's a quasi-publishing company itself contracting the work. I agree, though, that the proofing of the galleys is about the most tedious and irritating task ever.

Good luck with the next week.

[dancinghorse.livejournal.com]

Gracias.

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

Aww thanks. It wasn't the worst I've had; I've had one of the worst ever seen at Tor, so bad it's been preserved as an artifact. This was just...meh. Missed a lot of continuity bits, spent excessive time making wrongheaded "corrections."

...I'll put on one of my 70's goon outfits and shake the ce down. Point 'em out! ;)

-=Jeff=-

[deannahoak.livejournal.com]

And btw, how long has "she'd" been "correct" for "she had" or "she would" in narrative?

Hm. Well, truthfully, I've been in publishing for fifteen years and have never heard that contractions aren't appropriate for narrative. Am I understanding you correctly? I'm pretty certain that if I went about "uncontracting" all an author's narrative, I'd never be hired again.

But I'm very big on maintaining authorial voice, and every little thing adds to that. If an author doesn't seem to use contractions in narrative, I definitely try not to insert them when making a correction.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I'm afraid to ride again, after a particularly good session, because it's not going to be that good the next time and I know it'll drive me nuts.

Nothin' to be done for it, but sympathy from this corner.

(My horse is here and my tack's arriving next week...first lesson at the new place scheduled for Thursday. I expect to be posting something very similar this time next week.)

[janni.livejournal.com]

I remember when bluelines were blue!

I also remember how expensive it was to make changes at that point, and how many clients didn't seem to understand that. :-)

[lietya.livejournal.com]

I do, too! I actually started here just before the changeover; I proofread true-bluelines for a couple years before they switched. (The smell always gave me a headache. I still have to remind myself not to be looking for plate scratches anymore, too.)

At least it's gotten a little cheaper for us [the client] since the shift! It's also easier to be able to e-mail datafiles for entire books, rather than couriering giant packages back and forth....

[lietya.livejournal.com]

I hate to do this to you, but "she'd" meaning "she had" or "she would" dates to the early 17th century. There are bound to be narratives, presumably less-formal ones, where it's perfectly fitting, since it is technically grammatically correct.

Now, if someone is changing to contractions when you don't want them, that's still a bad thing! It's very much your right as the author to insist that that isn't what fits the style.

[raithen.livejournal.com]

you sound so happily geeky in this conversation ;).

that is all ;).

[lietya.livejournal.com]

(geeking out about editing finally got me over being too intimidated to talk. :) I have to admit, I do enjoy the work!)