Finding the Balance
Feb. 21st, 2015 01:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancinghorse2014 was a crap year in a whole lot of ways. The last couple of months were especially difficult. Everything was a struggle.
2015 seems to be setting off in a different direction. Very very busy. A lot of freelancing work--so that I'm gradually getting caught up on the bills from the end of last year. The fiction Muse is back, though she's been lolllygagging around that beach in Aruba the past couple of weeks while I've worked on some editing projects and a big nonfiction writing project. She'll get back to work this week Or Else.
So that's been good. I have myself back as a writer and a reader. But in the process of doing it, I lost the other side: the horses.
We had our bit of winter around the holidays, complete with snow and record cold on New Year's Day. We had lots and lots (and lots) of rain, which in the desert is a very good thing, but it turned the footing to mush and made the horses footsore. So no riding and very little groundwork happened after my last lesson, right before Solstice.
Once the weather improved and the footing likewise (it's still deep in places; we had that much rain), when I could have been riding, I was working instead. No energy left after caring for the horses to, you know, enjoy them. Lessons could have jump-started me but kept getting rained out or scheduled out.
Finally yesterday we were able to make a lesson happen. I had to remember where I'd put the riding gear, it had been so long. Longest I've gone without riding since grad school.
Ephiny was not on board. Capria actually volunteered, bless her heart, till I reminded her that she's retired and she's not carrying weight any more. She was a bit bummed. I think we may be doing groundwork or long-lining, if she feels she wants to get back in the game.
But not right then. I eyed Pooka, but with all the mares in heat, including Miss E, and not even a longe since last week, that was asking for trouble. When he's in that kind of mood, he can go rodeo. And I was not in shape to ride the rocket.
Anyway, Ephiny's the one who needs the work most, and between Ro deciding to get in touch with his inner border collie and Miss E being in standing heat, it took a while to catch her. Which is pretty much unheard of; she's usually in my face. Finally I said, "Hey. Do you want me to ride the hormones over there or can we have a lesson?" and she allowed as how she might consider the option.
That's Ephiny. She thinks things through.
By the time we got to the grooming part of the exercise, she was settled in to the concept. She was sore from her heat cycle, which explained some of the Airs and the flight takeoffs, but she was OK with the tack, and we took it slow. Groundwork and balance work for me, because I was like a block of concrete from the shoulders to the knees. Too much stress, too much computer time. Not enough chill time.
Getting my center of balance down from my shoulders to my pelvis took a while. Ephiny dozed through it. Then she found out she had to do some work, too, working through her soreness and balancing her body. She was a bit put out. Wasn't the human supposed to be doing the work?
We did finally get connected, and I (sort of) got de-concrete-fied. Ephiny hooks in so well; it's like an extension of me, as long as I'm not getting all nutty up in my head.
So then S said, get on. Don't worry about perfection. Don't get all angsty about the rider you wanted to be, and all the crap that's been circling around (broken dreams in the tiny violin, weeeoooo). Just get on. Sit there. Get the balance going. She likes to lock hard in the base of the neck, and then she can't move. Poll up (heavens, Baucher had a point), back up, go.
And we did. And S left us to it, with instructions to stay on for a while. Notable: she got extremely looky as S was leaving, seeing some kids walking up on the road. When they came down the side street, she chilled completely. She could see them, no dogs with them, no problem. Big sigh. Back to work.
In standing heat, after two months, that's a nice outcome for any horse. She always amazes me with her calm as a riding horse; she's so much horse otherwise. She was doing formal capriole setups the other day, the midair rocking back and forth, though she didn't do the full up and kick. Just because.
So we have homework. Five minutes a day. Do groundwork. Do something with a horse. And get back to riding. Not just because it's a job, but because I'm the most in my body when I'm on a horse. I need that balance to make the rest work. Letting it go was not good.
So, back to it. Back to getting everything else lined up and working. On all sides of the personal balance sheet.
2015 seems to be setting off in a different direction. Very very busy. A lot of freelancing work--so that I'm gradually getting caught up on the bills from the end of last year. The fiction Muse is back, though she's been lolllygagging around that beach in Aruba the past couple of weeks while I've worked on some editing projects and a big nonfiction writing project. She'll get back to work this week Or Else.
So that's been good. I have myself back as a writer and a reader. But in the process of doing it, I lost the other side: the horses.
We had our bit of winter around the holidays, complete with snow and record cold on New Year's Day. We had lots and lots (and lots) of rain, which in the desert is a very good thing, but it turned the footing to mush and made the horses footsore. So no riding and very little groundwork happened after my last lesson, right before Solstice.
Once the weather improved and the footing likewise (it's still deep in places; we had that much rain), when I could have been riding, I was working instead. No energy left after caring for the horses to, you know, enjoy them. Lessons could have jump-started me but kept getting rained out or scheduled out.
Finally yesterday we were able to make a lesson happen. I had to remember where I'd put the riding gear, it had been so long. Longest I've gone without riding since grad school.
Ephiny was not on board. Capria actually volunteered, bless her heart, till I reminded her that she's retired and she's not carrying weight any more. She was a bit bummed. I think we may be doing groundwork or long-lining, if she feels she wants to get back in the game.
But not right then. I eyed Pooka, but with all the mares in heat, including Miss E, and not even a longe since last week, that was asking for trouble. When he's in that kind of mood, he can go rodeo. And I was not in shape to ride the rocket.
Anyway, Ephiny's the one who needs the work most, and between Ro deciding to get in touch with his inner border collie and Miss E being in standing heat, it took a while to catch her. Which is pretty much unheard of; she's usually in my face. Finally I said, "Hey. Do you want me to ride the hormones over there or can we have a lesson?" and she allowed as how she might consider the option.
That's Ephiny. She thinks things through.
By the time we got to the grooming part of the exercise, she was settled in to the concept. She was sore from her heat cycle, which explained some of the Airs and the flight takeoffs, but she was OK with the tack, and we took it slow. Groundwork and balance work for me, because I was like a block of concrete from the shoulders to the knees. Too much stress, too much computer time. Not enough chill time.
Getting my center of balance down from my shoulders to my pelvis took a while. Ephiny dozed through it. Then she found out she had to do some work, too, working through her soreness and balancing her body. She was a bit put out. Wasn't the human supposed to be doing the work?
We did finally get connected, and I (sort of) got de-concrete-fied. Ephiny hooks in so well; it's like an extension of me, as long as I'm not getting all nutty up in my head.
So then S said, get on. Don't worry about perfection. Don't get all angsty about the rider you wanted to be, and all the crap that's been circling around (broken dreams in the tiny violin, weeeoooo). Just get on. Sit there. Get the balance going. She likes to lock hard in the base of the neck, and then she can't move. Poll up (heavens, Baucher had a point), back up, go.
And we did. And S left us to it, with instructions to stay on for a while. Notable: she got extremely looky as S was leaving, seeing some kids walking up on the road. When they came down the side street, she chilled completely. She could see them, no dogs with them, no problem. Big sigh. Back to work.
In standing heat, after two months, that's a nice outcome for any horse. She always amazes me with her calm as a riding horse; she's so much horse otherwise. She was doing formal capriole setups the other day, the midair rocking back and forth, though she didn't do the full up and kick. Just because.
So we have homework. Five minutes a day. Do groundwork. Do something with a horse. And get back to riding. Not just because it's a job, but because I'm the most in my body when I'm on a horse. I need that balance to make the rest work. Letting it go was not good.
So, back to it. Back to getting everything else lined up and working. On all sides of the personal balance sheet.
